A Tribute to Panda & Xena: Grieving, Healing, and Remembering

This edition of the Coastal Cat Care blog comes with a heavy heart as I reflect on the more difficult side of being a pet parent. Recently, I lost two of my beloved cats—Panda and Xena—within a month of each other. Panda, my sweet, snuggly companion, passed from an aggressive form of cancer. Xena, her sister and lifelong partner in crime, followed shortly after, likely due to the same illness. Our vet mentioned that stress and grief could have triggered her decline, and the rapid nature of both losses has left my husband, Alan, and me devastated. The house feels empty without them, and I am still processing the deep grief of their absence.

Panda <3

Their origin story began in the summer of 2012 with a Craigslist ad—$5 per kitten. At the time, Alan and I were best friends, students at Charleston Southern University, and looking for something to brighten up our summer. It only felt right to drive out to Moncks Corner and bring them home.

Xena, true to her namesake, was a feisty warrior, darting away from us and sending us on a wild chase before we could finally capture her. Panda, on the other hand, was all purrs and snuggles, melting into my arms as if she already knew she belonged there.

Naturally, I kept Panda, the gentle soul, while Alan took on the challenge of taming Xena. From that moment on, our lives were forever changed.

Xena Beanz

Through college, moving across the country, traveling, getting married, having children, and really every young adult milestone, our girls were there. In fact, Coastal Cat Care wouldn’t exist today without them. My journey into pet sitting began when I needed someone to care for Panda and Xena while we traveled to Japan in 2017. Finding a trustworthy sitter inspired me to enter the pet care industry, which eventually led to the creation of Coastal Cat Care.

I initially started to write this to discuss Panda’s passing, she was my respective cat of the duo. But before I got a chance Xena’s health started to decline and within days she was gone. Both kitties had such quick declines that it has been such a shock. I have not been without a cat in a very long time and to go from 2 kitties that I thought were unstoppable, no prior medical history, little trash cats from the country, to a cat-less household does not feel real at all. My husband and I are devastated to say the least.

Now, as I navigate life without them, I want to share some thoughts on grief, both for ourselves and for the pets left behind.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet is a profound loss. They are our family, our constant companions, and our comfort. The grief that follows can be overwhelming, but it’s important to allow yourself the space to process it.

• Talk About It – Share your feelings with those who understand the deep bond between pets and their humans. Whether with friends, family, or a pet loss support group, speaking openly about your grief can help ease the burden. I am lucky and grateful that I have an outlet in my team and my blog. I hope we can offer you that same support if you are ever in need for a listening ear.

• Don’t Rush the Process – There’s no set timeline for grief. It’s okay to feel sad for a long time. Let yourself cry, reminisce, and honor the emotions that come with the loss of your cat.

Helping Your Other Pets Cope with Grief

Pets grieve too, and changes in their behavior are common after the loss of a companion.

• Maintain Routine – Keeping their daily schedule consistent helps provide stability in a time of confusion and loss.

• Observe Their Behavior – Watch for signs of distress, such as changes in appetite, energy levels, or mood.

• Provide Comfort Items – A blanket or toy with the lost pet’s scent can be soothing.

• Encourage Play and Engagement – Keeping their mind active with toys, puzzles, or interactive playtime can help them through the grieving process.

• Spend Extra Time with Them – They need your reassurance, just as you need theirs.

• Vet Check-Up if Needed – If your surviving pet isn’t eating for more than 24-48 hours or shows signs of significant distress, a vet visit may be necessary. Sometimes grief can trigger underlying health issues, and a vet may suggest supportive care like appetite stimulants or fluids.

Memorializing Your Pet

Honoring your pet’s memory can be a healing part of the grieving process. Here are some ways to keep their spirit alive:

• Write a Letter – Express your love, gratitude, and memories in a heartfelt letter to your pet.

• Plant a Tree or Garden – A living tribute that grows in their honor.

• Keep a Piece of Them Close – Jewelry with their ashes, a locket with their picture, or a custom paw print keepsake.

• Create a Memory Box or Photo Album – Collect their favorite toys, collars, and photos in a special place to revisit when you need to feel close to them.

Grieving takes time, and the loss never fully fades, but the love and joy our pets give us remain forever. Panda and Xena will always be a part of my heart, and I am endlessly grateful for the years we had together. If you’ve experienced a loss, know that you are not alone in your grief. If you have a special way you’ve honored a lost pet, I’d love to hear about it. Let’s celebrate their lives together. 💙

In loving memory

Panda "Pudda, Pudder Jones, Puddle, Pugbert, Pambalam," Lashley 5/12/12 - 1/29/25

Xena "Xeny, Beanz, Xena Beanz, Beanie" Castro 5/12/12 - 2/27/25